Devaru Hoseda Premada Daara

Ever so often, when I am caught up with an  existential angst that seems to have taken precedence in my extended quarter life crisis(of course assuming I make it to100), I find myself listening to Devaru Hoseda Premada Daara from Muthina Haara. This masterpiece of a song takes me through a myriad of emotions every time I listen to it. It does not offer the answers I am seeking, however it offers comfort and a sense of belonging perhaps, reiterating the fact that we are all fellow passengers on this journey! Hamsalekha has done a wonderful job with the amazing lyrics whose mood changes as the season and of course with the orchestration that embellishes the emotions. Balamuralikrishna’s voice takes the song to a whole new level and overall just listening to this song feels like a new experience each time to me! This song is such an excellent example of how important both the music and the lyrics are to achieve brilliance! The lines that stand out to me are these: "beDayendare naavu suDade iruvude novu" and "bisilo, maLeyo, chiguro  himavo, aLuvo naguvo, solo geluvo, baduke payaNa, naDiye munde, olave namage neralu hinde". As the song ends with these lines, it leaves me comforted with a bit more optimism, hope and strength than before, and that is why to me this song is a masterpiece.

Colored Blue

The feeling, so void,
Bitterly helpless and devoid!


The feeling, so alone,
In this cruel world made of stone!


The feeling, so sleepy
Yet wide awake and weepy


The feeling, so tired
Of constantly trying, playing and being wired!


The feeling, so numb,
Weak and wanting to succumb


The feeling, so hurt,
Questioning everything about its worth


The feeling, so desolate
That does nothing less than devastate


These feelings, all so wrong
That help no more than make a sad song!

So, Let Go!

I had a dream. In that dream, I was standing by my bedroom window and looking out. My bedroom when I was growing up. My first home. And I woke up with this realization that the bedroom which was once mine and no longer is, is so metaphorical to everything in life. That small space was what I used to call mine, call home. That space was comfort and it bred with familiarity. That room still exists, just no longer mine. It has been redecorated, to keep up with the times. Everything in that room had changed, the last time I saw it, except for the windows. The windows where I stood in my dream, looking out. That room, when I go back, draw me to those windows. The windows are a remnant of my bedroom while growing up. The last few touches of familiarity the room still holds on to.

There are two things that I can relate this to, today. Firstly, with people. There are people that we grew to understand. People that offered comfort. And vice versa. And then, we drift apart. Going back and talking to those people after a while leaves you with a lingering sense of familiarity. The sort that I felt, standing by my bedroom window. That everything is still the same and yet, nothing is the same anymore.

Secondly, with homesickness. This feeling of homesickness is with a non-existent home in many senses, since that room is not my home anymore. And while I was feeling this in-explainable feeling, I saw this one scene from the movie Garden State definitely puts to words what I am struggling to express.

Grappled by various emotions today, I struggle to keep it all together. And then, I listen to Let Go, by Frou Frou:

And Yes,


So, let go,

Jump in

Oh well, what you waiting for?

It's alright

'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown


Yes, there is beauty in breakdown! :)





PS: Thanks to Manvir, for coincidentally sending me the movie link today, which happened to make perfect sense for the state of mind I am in.

The Storm

The storm that late arrived,
Blowing on much too longer than desired!
The storm that had to but come,
Could perhaps have been a bit milder some!
This storm, from all directions wreck
Keeping the mind, its actions and thoughts at check!
The strong storm, offering no solace,
Obliterating you from the maddening race!
The storm, in the first place, I never wished to see,
Bringing some good out of all this, can it even be?
Oh callous storm, coming after an unnatural calm,
All I plead is, help rid this qualm and leave behind some kind of balm!

The Waltz of Life

Waltzing on ice
Once, twice and thrice
Gliding and spinning
We keep on winning

Dance till we drop
The music never stops
Dance till ice breaks
On these frozen lakes

The ice surely melts
And the heart surely swells
Sooner or later,
And time is the traitor

But comes winter dense
Again forming ice thence
Healed, we start spinning
Till we keep on winning!

Veena In Vienna

I am so high! So obviously high! So insanely high - or maybe this is true sanity - smiles and smiles and more smiles! I sing on in oblivion - pa da ga ma sa , sa da ri sa ni, pa da ga ma sa, ga ri ni sa! sa sa ga ri sa ni da pa da da ni sa ni, sa sa ga ri sa ni da ma ma da da ma pa! Veena In Vienna it is called. There is beauty in the name too. Reminds me of An Equal Music. A wondeful book set in Vienna. And my favourite instrument. Of course there is beauty in the name. I write in a trance! I pause now and then to hum my favourite parts. This could go on forever. This is magical. I am ecstatic. Have been. It is amazing how music has been the only thing consistently creating such magic for me. I feel it now. I may not though, the next time I am reading this post. But I feel it now, and this is my true love and I am glad :)

PS: This is the piece - :) http://soundcloud.com/madnohan/global-gear-veena-in-vienna

You can buy the album at http://www.muzigle.com/album/veena-in-vienna

Image Courtesy : Here

Neenillade Nanagenide?

That sadness is beautiful is exemplified by M N Vyasa Rao’s poetry, “ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದೆ ನನಗೇನಿದೆ”, and the “ಭಾವ” in the poetry is exemplified by Pallavi Arun’s rendition of the same. The beauty in this sadness is an enriching one, one of acceptance and hope! On quickly scouring the web, I failed to find any translation for the song, so decided to give it a try myself. There is immense beauty in these words penned together and I hope I do sufficient justice.  Attached is a Youtube link for the song and a MusicIndiaOnline link as well :- http://www.musicindiaonline.com/#/album/171-Kannada_Bhaava_Geethe/27207-Live_Concert_Vol_1/

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದೆ ನನಗೇನಿದೆ?

neenillade nanagenide

What do I have without you?

ಮನಸೆಲ್ಲ ನಿನ್ನಲ್ಲೇ ನೆಲೆಯಾಗಿದೆ

manasella ninnalle neLeyaagide

My mind is immersed in your thoughts

ಕನಸೆಲ್ಲ ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲೇ ಸೆರೆಯಾಗಿದೆ

kanasella kaNNalle sereyaagide

My dreams are imprisoned in my eyes

ನಿನಗಾಗಿ ಕಾದು ಕಾದು ಪರಿತಪಿಸಿ ನೊಂದೇ ನಾನು

ninagaagi kaadu kaadu paritapisi nonde naanu

I bitterly regret after having waited long for you

ಕಹಿಯಾದ ವಿರಹದ ನೋವು ಹಗಲಿರುಳು ತಂದೆ ನೀನು

kahiyaada virahada novu hagaliruLu tande neenu

The pain of this bitter separation is what you have brought me day and night

ಎದೆಯಾಸೆ ಏನೋ ಎಂದು ನೀ ಕಾಣದಾದೆ

yedeyaase yeno yendu nee kaaNadaade

You failed to see what this heart desires

ನಿಶೆಯೊಂದೆ ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ನೀ ತುಂಬಿದೆ

nisheyonde nannalli nee tumbide

Darkness is the only thing you have filled in me

ಬೆಳಕೊಂದೆ ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ನಾ ಬಯಸಿದೆ

beLakonde ninninda naa bayaside

Light is the only thing I aspire from you

ಒಲವೆಂಬ ಕಿರಣ ಬೀರಿ ಒಳಗಿರುವ ಬಣ್ಣ ತೆರೆಸಿ

olavemba kiraNa beeri oLagiruva baNNa teresi

Casting a beam of affection, you opened up the colors hidden inside

ಒಣಗಿರುವ ಎದೆ ನೆಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಬರವಸೆಯ ಜೀವ ಹರಿಸಿ

oNagiruva yede neladalli baravaseya jeeva harisi

On the barren heart’s ground, a hopeful life you let flow

ಸೆರೆಯಿಂದ ಬಿಡಿಸಿ ನನ್ನ ಆತಂಕ ನೀಗು

sereyinda biDisi nanna aatanka neegu

Take me away from this imprisonment and lessen my anxiety

ಹೊಸ ಜೀವ ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ನಾ ತಾಳುವೆ

hosa jeeva ninninda naa taaLuve

A new life is what I expect with(from) you

ಹೊಸ ಲೋಕ ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ನಾ ಕಾಣುವೆ

hosa loka ninninda naa kaaNuve

A new world is what I will see because of you